Why is losing weight so damn hard??? And why is it that when I go to the gym to work my fat ass out there's a bunch of in shape, unhappy, looking people, working out and dripping of sweat... Is something wrong with me??? :-) I got on the scale the other day and saw such an ugly number. I sat there wondering and wondering, how the hell did I get back up here? I looked up and BAM, everyone on the elliptical was looking at my reaction, embarrassed to say the least.
So I hired a Personal Trainer Al. He's cool and he's really working my fat ass out but I'm so damn impatient. Anyone with extra pounds to lose can relate that it's hard to be a gym rat. You start looking at other people around you and start imagining your head on that body (Don't lie, you do it too). Al says he can have me at my immediate goal, under 200 lbs, by my high school reunion in June. That's literally a little under 3 months. I'm working out 7 days a week, even though I lack motivation some days and count me walking across campus from my car to class and back, my daily exercise. Like I explained to Al, I think the biggest challenge for me is remaining motivated and my diet.
It was suggested to me that I start myself off with a cleanse, this way my body will naturally eliminate the craving for bad foods and blah blah blah. I won't lie, I've started it and started it and started it and started it. Everyday is Day 1 for me. Either I'll pass a Chick-Fil-A or some one of the kids snacks will be calling my name and I'll just shrug it off and say that I'll just work out and do things the right way. I think that mentality is what got me to that nasty number.
So tomorrow is Day 1 again for my cleanse. Gas is nearly $4, I'm officially on Spring Break as of today, and I have no reason to move my car, only to go to the gym. So I think I can do it. My friend Gil, who always seems to master every task she sets out to do (everyone has one of those girlfriends) is doing Dr. Ian Smith's all fruit and veggie something or other and she's gone meatless all week. She says it's mind over matter but my mind is saying that food in mouth is what matters.
I figure if I put my "skinny me" jeans on my door then I would be reminded of what I'm trying to do. I need some type of motivation. People claim its 10 days to a new you, 10 days to a new outlook, 10 days to restart your life and walking into a healthier you. Can I do it??? I just hope so at this point because I'm tired of this tire I'm lugging around my waist, it's getting exhausting. Plus the added bonus that I take classes with early 20 something year olds with there "Not-affected-by-fast-food" bodies... Makes me sick! LOL....
Well as my daughter shoves pretzels in my mouth, I'm preparing myself for Day 1 again and my morning date with Al. Yesterday he was on some type of steroid. He failed his class and decided to go to the gym and work out his frustrations, which included me. All I know is I got a text saying I needed to be in the gym @6 and it was 5:59. But he worked everything out of me for 2 hours. Call me crazy but I can't get enough of it. When I work out alone, I feel like nothing was accomplished and I should go back and try again. But when I work out with him, or in one of those group classes I feel like I lost 10 lbs. Of course my pants didn't get that 10lb memo.
Well wish me luck! I promise to write more. Especially with this whole working out thing. By June I want to lose 20 lbs, by the end of the Summer 50, and the ultimate goal isn't really a weight thing but more so I want to go from a size 16 pant to a size 8 pant. I want my stomach to not say hi when I;m wearing jeans, and I want to look all together when I'm not wearing a girdle. For all those working out as well and trying to get to One-derland (under 200lbs) good luck, you're not alone, and even I just want to lay in the bed and eat Chocolate Chip cookie dough Ice cream. And hey, if this lazy girl could do it, so can you.....
Live, Love, Laugh, Learn
Mood: Anxious
Color: NY Giants Blue
Song: Kelly Clarkson "Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You)"
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
What's your number???
OMG... So I haven't been on here in like forever so I feel like I have to come out with a bang...
A friend of mine called me the other day to ask the question all of us women dread... "How Many Men Have You Slept with???" I nearly choked on my water.. LOL.. It's not that she wanted to know my personal number, she really wanted my opinion on what I thought was too much for a woman.
Men never have this problem, they just go and go and go, and no one really cares about their number or even wants to know the truth, but as women it's like we feel like sluts and are viewed the same way if we keep going and going and going... Why??? We all preach that "women's liberation" bs but yet it only goes for certain aspects of our lives... The more notches on a man's belt the more "manly" he's viewed, the more accolades he receives amongst his peers, but switch it to a woman and she might as well walk around the village wearing that Red A on her chest...
So what did I tell my friend? If you're 25, 25 partners are acceptable, but make sure you have your magic number... Magic Number? That number you instantly blurt out when people ask for your real number... Acceptable and believable number? 5,7,9,11.... Believe it or not since Samantha Jones, women have increased their numbers but being real no one admits to being the Samantha of the group even though she's The poster child for female liberation and secretly every woman's role model. They say you can turn a hoe into a housewife, but now-a-days who the hell isn't a hoe (guy and girl)...
*I say all this to say, who the hell cares what your number is as long as your being safe and having fun*
HAVE FUN LADIES, AND DARE I SAY, SOW A FEW OATS OF YOUR OWN.... DAMMIT
Mood: Adventurous
Song: Katy Perry "Last Friday Night" (TGIF)
Color: Charcoal
A friend of mine called me the other day to ask the question all of us women dread... "How Many Men Have You Slept with???" I nearly choked on my water.. LOL.. It's not that she wanted to know my personal number, she really wanted my opinion on what I thought was too much for a woman.
Men never have this problem, they just go and go and go, and no one really cares about their number or even wants to know the truth, but as women it's like we feel like sluts and are viewed the same way if we keep going and going and going... Why??? We all preach that "women's liberation" bs but yet it only goes for certain aspects of our lives... The more notches on a man's belt the more "manly" he's viewed, the more accolades he receives amongst his peers, but switch it to a woman and she might as well walk around the village wearing that Red A on her chest...
So what did I tell my friend? If you're 25, 25 partners are acceptable, but make sure you have your magic number... Magic Number? That number you instantly blurt out when people ask for your real number... Acceptable and believable number? 5,7,9,11.... Believe it or not since Samantha Jones, women have increased their numbers but being real no one admits to being the Samantha of the group even though she's The poster child for female liberation and secretly every woman's role model. They say you can turn a hoe into a housewife, but now-a-days who the hell isn't a hoe (guy and girl)...
*I say all this to say, who the hell cares what your number is as long as your being safe and having fun*
HAVE FUN LADIES, AND DARE I SAY, SOW A FEW OATS OF YOUR OWN.... DAMMIT
Mood: Adventurous
Song: Katy Perry "Last Friday Night" (TGIF)
Color: Charcoal
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Can Long Distance Relationships Really Work?
Like I've said before, I'm in a long distance relationship with a really great guy. But can this really work? We don't see one another as much as we'd like but it seems like everytime I suggest coming down there, he suggests coming up here! Like doesn't he know that's either so damn obvious or so damn suspicious. How am I suppose to feel secure when I wanna spend time with you and you shoot me down! I'm feeling some kind of way, so I said something but I feel like his reaction was because he doesn't want me to feel how I'm feeling. No sincerity! Why don't men get it? Why don't they get us? As long as their species has been around you would think they would have some sort of advancement in gender communication and interaction.
So I googled how to make a long distance relationship work, LOL... And all the results were consistent communication and opportunity. If you keep the communication constant, such as surprising cards or Skye, it can help minimize some of the tension that can arise. Also if the opportunity and the means arise for one to come see the other than trying for that as much as possible is ideal. So basically if we haven't spoken for the day, make sure we have a great conversation when we do. And most importantly if I wanna come see you, LET ME! Especially if you don't want me to think there is someone else, cause then we'll have another problem and I'll have to go a "Woman scorned" on you! LOL.... But seriously wasn't that easy, to just google? C'mon men... Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, that doesn't work anymore especially since there's google Earth!
So basically, ladies and gentlemen, the moral of the story is... Its not hard anymore, if you want something to work, make it work! The only time success comes before work is in the dictionary, so if you want a successful relationship of any kind you have to work at it. You can play Angry Birds for hours trying to get three stars but we can't take 5 minutes to reassure someone that we love them and we're here for the long all; Think About it... What am I going to do? I'm going to just sit back and watch. If too much time goes by and we haven't seen one another I'll raise the question of why. But if he's not complaining or doesn't address this distance issue I'm going to start looking at this situation for what it and reevaluate things. The main point is its on him. How important is this to him? Only he knows and only he can tell me or show me... I don't cheat but like the Sagittarius I am, I am quick and ready to just leave complicated situations but I know there comes a time where I have to take a big girl pill and just deal with issues that arise aka work towards success.
Nonetheless I have yet to answer my own question that I posed in the beginning, despite my ranting and googling, CAN A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP REALLY WORK?
Mood: Content
Song: "Lovesong" by Adele
Color: Yellow
So I googled how to make a long distance relationship work, LOL... And all the results were consistent communication and opportunity. If you keep the communication constant, such as surprising cards or Skye, it can help minimize some of the tension that can arise. Also if the opportunity and the means arise for one to come see the other than trying for that as much as possible is ideal. So basically if we haven't spoken for the day, make sure we have a great conversation when we do. And most importantly if I wanna come see you, LET ME! Especially if you don't want me to think there is someone else, cause then we'll have another problem and I'll have to go a "Woman scorned" on you! LOL.... But seriously wasn't that easy, to just google? C'mon men... Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, that doesn't work anymore especially since there's google Earth!
So basically, ladies and gentlemen, the moral of the story is... Its not hard anymore, if you want something to work, make it work! The only time success comes before work is in the dictionary, so if you want a successful relationship of any kind you have to work at it. You can play Angry Birds for hours trying to get three stars but we can't take 5 minutes to reassure someone that we love them and we're here for the long all; Think About it... What am I going to do? I'm going to just sit back and watch. If too much time goes by and we haven't seen one another I'll raise the question of why. But if he's not complaining or doesn't address this distance issue I'm going to start looking at this situation for what it and reevaluate things. The main point is its on him. How important is this to him? Only he knows and only he can tell me or show me... I don't cheat but like the Sagittarius I am, I am quick and ready to just leave complicated situations but I know there comes a time where I have to take a big girl pill and just deal with issues that arise aka work towards success.
Nonetheless I have yet to answer my own question that I posed in the beginning, despite my ranting and googling, CAN A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP REALLY WORK?
Mood: Content
Song: "Lovesong" by Adele
Color: Yellow
Friday, May 20, 2011
Where are all the thick chicks?
So what happened to all the "proud to be thick" and "regular girls are over a size 10" advocates. It seems like everyone is jumping on the thin train... They're saying they're getting healthy but I know the truth just like they do; They went to the Gap and only saw size 8 and S/M, and realized they needed to lose a few, just like the rest of us. It is what it is. I recently went to Vegas and went crazy, working out 5 days a week just to reach a size 14. I was pissed. I mean I had just went from 247lbs to 219lbs but I figured now that I'm actually doing something the weight doesn't want to budge. I thought I looked great in Vegas but when I came home and put on some size 14 stretch jeans and they were struggling to button up, I too said to hell with this, I need to something about this. But then me and my bf went to Brooklyn for the weekend and I started eating and "embrassed" my curves and thickness, and he thought I was sexy as ever.
So I turned my tv on and opened up a magazine. I saw Perez Hilton, Raven Symone, Jordin Sparks and even Mo'Nique and they were all not on my train anymore. I mean damn if they're "getting healthy" maybe I need to as well. And honestly since I came back from vaca, I'm feeling kind of heavy. I maintained a good chunk of my weight loss (that's going off of my clothes not a scale) but I'm starting to feel heavy. When I was working out for Vegas I could feel a difference, I felt lighter. So now I'm like "C, u gotta get it together". I still work out but I've been lacking my zest. So to jump start I decided I'm going to do the maser cleanse
Now I know that's the cheat way, and the do it quick way, but I'm not solely doing it to lose weight. My main reason is to help myself start and maintain healthy eating habits. I have been eating some crap and I wanna get back on track, but on a permanent basis. I started today and I'm not hungry, just greedy. I'm trying to stay focused and busy because I feel like this is going to be a long 10 days. I googled some before and after pics and it seems like people really shed weight and the feelings people describe post cleanse seem really satisfying, I want one too Mommy! LOL..... I think the hardest part for me is getting dinner ready for the kids, also the semester recently ended and I'm waiting for summer to start, so It's like I'm home and I'm waiting, just waiting with nothing to do. I feel like this would of been easier when I'm in school because, then, I don't even have enough hours in a day. But I'm doing it and I hope to stay focused.
I have, what I know alot of females have, a book with magazine clippings, kinda my wish list. But I have some summer outfits and recipes that I'm dying to try. Most are healthy recipes that provide some options to unhealthy and greasy foods. So looking through my book helps me keep my eye on the prize.
P.S. Leave comments, questions, and I will try my best to answer. Also relationship questions are my favorite. As my friends call with their "problems" I'll post it and my reply...
So I turned my tv on and opened up a magazine. I saw Perez Hilton, Raven Symone, Jordin Sparks and even Mo'Nique and they were all not on my train anymore. I mean damn if they're "getting healthy" maybe I need to as well. And honestly since I came back from vaca, I'm feeling kind of heavy. I maintained a good chunk of my weight loss (that's going off of my clothes not a scale) but I'm starting to feel heavy. When I was working out for Vegas I could feel a difference, I felt lighter. So now I'm like "C, u gotta get it together". I still work out but I've been lacking my zest. So to jump start I decided I'm going to do the maser cleanse
Now I know that's the cheat way, and the do it quick way, but I'm not solely doing it to lose weight. My main reason is to help myself start and maintain healthy eating habits. I have been eating some crap and I wanna get back on track, but on a permanent basis. I started today and I'm not hungry, just greedy. I'm trying to stay focused and busy because I feel like this is going to be a long 10 days. I googled some before and after pics and it seems like people really shed weight and the feelings people describe post cleanse seem really satisfying, I want one too Mommy! LOL..... I think the hardest part for me is getting dinner ready for the kids, also the semester recently ended and I'm waiting for summer to start, so It's like I'm home and I'm waiting, just waiting with nothing to do. I feel like this would of been easier when I'm in school because, then, I don't even have enough hours in a day. But I'm doing it and I hope to stay focused.
I have, what I know alot of females have, a book with magazine clippings, kinda my wish list. But I have some summer outfits and recipes that I'm dying to try. Most are healthy recipes that provide some options to unhealthy and greasy foods. So looking through my book helps me keep my eye on the prize.
P.S. Leave comments, questions, and I will try my best to answer. Also relationship questions are my favorite. As my friends call with their "problems" I'll post it and my reply...
Breaking the Champagne Bottle on this Yaht...
Why? Well I started this blog because, I guess, I'm tired of doing my ranting and raving on Facebook! LOL....
Who? Chawn (Shawn). You're average 26 yr old.Dealing with the daily stress of life, love, laughing, and trying to learn from it all. I'm a Sagittarius and I display mostly every characteristic. Impulsive, emotional, hot headed, funny, personable, That's me... C! Stuck in the mind set of a 23 yr old waking up after the party ended and everyone is gone leaving me to clean up after everyone.
What? Well here's a rundown going on now. Went back to school, which I discovered is not an easy task at a later age. Mostly because I feel like a fish out of order. These kids are talking about finally being out of their parents house, or the wanting to; and it's like I've been on my own for yrs. They don't know who they are and they don't know that they don't know that yet where as I know I don't know what the hell I'm doing but I think I have a idea as to who the hell is living in this body I'm lugging around. But the best part of it all is that I'm comfortable enough to admit it and I'm comfortable eough with that admission.
Relationship: Well this is pretty funny. I'm in a "relationship" with a commitment-phob guy who I've been friends with for 2 yrs. We used to date for a little bit then we lost contact and when we regained it we just spoke daily (no lie daily) for some years. We hadn't seen one another since I moved but we were comfortable with our phone conversations. Romance and a wanting one another was there but it seemed like a no win. I went to visit him in March and cried the entire plane ride home (so sappy) and that's when I realized I wanted more btween us, he seemed to as well. The next month he came to see me and again the departure was hard. I know he's a huge commitment-phob so I don't pressure him too much about things. Ijust kind of keep it how its been only difference is we're committed now. It's hard this long distance thing but I love him, he's a big kid like muah. But sometimes I feel like he's in this "relationship" because I wanted it...... We'll see
Family: I'm the 3rd of 4 kids, 2 girls before me so hand me downs were my friends. My sisters grew up in the 80s, me in the 90s, so their clothes weren't exactly welcomed with open arms. Anyway grew up with my mom and grandma, met my dad at 21, kinda wish I didn't look for his crazy ass.... And I'm a mom to a 10 yr old and 4 yr old. But lucky for me I still live the life a 23 yr old single girl watching Sex and the City on dvd... LOL...
Where? Originally from Brooklyn, NY I moved to my dream city of Charlotte, NC but the economy tanked and now I'm outside of Baltimore and I hate it.... But that's a story for another post.
How? Sitting on my couch using my netbook... LOL (Had to finish the sequence)
Who? Chawn (Shawn). You're average 26 yr old.Dealing with the daily stress of life, love, laughing, and trying to learn from it all. I'm a Sagittarius and I display mostly every characteristic. Impulsive, emotional, hot headed, funny, personable, That's me... C! Stuck in the mind set of a 23 yr old waking up after the party ended and everyone is gone leaving me to clean up after everyone.
What? Well here's a rundown going on now. Went back to school, which I discovered is not an easy task at a later age. Mostly because I feel like a fish out of order. These kids are talking about finally being out of their parents house, or the wanting to; and it's like I've been on my own for yrs. They don't know who they are and they don't know that they don't know that yet where as I know I don't know what the hell I'm doing but I think I have a idea as to who the hell is living in this body I'm lugging around. But the best part of it all is that I'm comfortable enough to admit it and I'm comfortable eough with that admission.
Relationship: Well this is pretty funny. I'm in a "relationship" with a commitment-phob guy who I've been friends with for 2 yrs. We used to date for a little bit then we lost contact and when we regained it we just spoke daily (no lie daily) for some years. We hadn't seen one another since I moved but we were comfortable with our phone conversations. Romance and a wanting one another was there but it seemed like a no win. I went to visit him in March and cried the entire plane ride home (so sappy) and that's when I realized I wanted more btween us, he seemed to as well. The next month he came to see me and again the departure was hard. I know he's a huge commitment-phob so I don't pressure him too much about things. Ijust kind of keep it how its been only difference is we're committed now. It's hard this long distance thing but I love him, he's a big kid like muah. But sometimes I feel like he's in this "relationship" because I wanted it...... We'll see
Family: I'm the 3rd of 4 kids, 2 girls before me so hand me downs were my friends. My sisters grew up in the 80s, me in the 90s, so their clothes weren't exactly welcomed with open arms. Anyway grew up with my mom and grandma, met my dad at 21, kinda wish I didn't look for his crazy ass.... And I'm a mom to a 10 yr old and 4 yr old. But lucky for me I still live the life a 23 yr old single girl watching Sex and the City on dvd... LOL...
Where? Originally from Brooklyn, NY I moved to my dream city of Charlotte, NC but the economy tanked and now I'm outside of Baltimore and I hate it.... But that's a story for another post.
How? Sitting on my couch using my netbook... LOL (Had to finish the sequence)
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